


Hidden Away

by DarlingRed



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Domestic, Feels, Fluff, HYDRA sucks, Lets pretend Civil War didn't happen, M/M, Slow Burn, h/c, massage therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 06:17:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9707198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingRed/pseuds/DarlingRed
Summary: After finding Bucky Barnes and bringing him back to the Avengers Tower, Steve learns that rehabilitation will not be easy or without its fall backs. As Bucky's cybernetic arm begins to fail him, the team bands together to help their newest member. As Steve tries hard to help his friend, he finds himself growing even closer to Bucky when it seems the only thing helping him is human contact.





	

**Author's Note:**

> First off: Not mine, never will be and I am not making any money from writing this etc etc. 
> 
> Hey guys! This is my first venture writing for Avengers (though I used to write a shit ton of X-Men in my younger days). Anyway, lets pretend Civil War didn't happen, the team still love each other. Please review! It helps me write faster ;)

Its been weeks since they took Hydra’s trigger words from his head. It had been a few months that he had been living with Steve. Tony had a condo ready for him, anytime he wanted it. But the first night he stayed by himself he couldn't sleep; any noise woke up or startled him. Jarvis must have had alerted Steve because he came to in the corner of his room, a blanket draped over his shivering shoulders and Steve a few feet from him, sporting a black eye but with a look that held no animosity. He’d been trying so hard, to get into the swing of things. Eating; everything tasted different. Bucky hadn’t remembered an actual meal since 1943 and that was baked beans cooked over an open fire in the middle of a Nazi occupied village with nothing but stale bread and lukewarm beer to wash it down. Barnes hadn’t slept a night since he had fallen and fuck did he feel it. And as well as he thought he was hiding it, Steve noticed. Because of course he did. 

“Buck, you feeling ok?” Steve asked, trying to look nonchalant as he continued to read the paper with his coffee. Bucky held back a smirk; because despite all the tech and gadgets of 21st century living, Steven Grant Rogers still read the paper in the morning. 

“Yea, just stiff,’ he shoveled another helping of pancakes from the comical stack Steve set before them. “Probably going to rain or something,’ he joked, brushing off Steve’s concern quietly with well placed humor and a smirk he knew that was a ghost of the old Bucky. 

He must have drifted because the next thing he knew there was a change of the air, a light footstep and suddenly Barton was behind him, Bucky’s knife still smeared with butter clenched in his fist a mere inches from his between his eyes. 

“Ok, I deserved that,’ Clint acknowledged without a beat, though he swallowed hard behind the last word, “More noise next time, scouts honor.”

“Bucky are you ok?” It was Steve this time, his newspaper discarded and his coffee half split on the table and his eyes drifted between the archer and the assassin. 

“I’m sorry,” Whispered Bucky, still trying to catch up with what had happened. Despite everything, it was still there. His hair trigger and fight or flight instinct. 

Clint waved it off, used the knife that just moments ago could have ended his life, to spear a hot cake and stuff the whole thing in his mouth. Bucky had lost his appetite. 

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Steve knew something was wrong. After breakfast Bucky took off for a run, but his downcast eyes and stiff body held more than just regret for this morning. Clint didn’t seemed fazed, but Clint hardly ever seemed fazed by anything. Apparently nearly getting skewered at breakfast wasn't a new thing for him. But of course seeing Clint’s idea of romantic partners it didn't surprise him much. 

It went on for a week or two, Bucky stalking off or just being in a plain shit mood. Steve caught his arm adjusting though they were sitting still. It wasn’t until one night at dinner Bucky’s metal arm spasmed and the glass he was holding shattered.

“Ok thats it!’ Steve said in the calmest way he could, but he could hear the Captain sneaking into his voice no matter how hard he tried. “You’re going to Tony. Somethings wrong with your arm and I’m tired of skirting the issue.”

Bucky’s face flared red and he pushed back his chair with a loud screech against the polished concrete floor. “Suddenly I’m not that hungry.” 

Standing up as well Steve threw down his napkin and stalked behind Barnes, “Buck!” He spun the other man around before he thought about what he was doing; so it was no surprise when he found himself pressed against the cold wall, Bucky’s arm pressed against his wind pipe. 

“Don't. Ever. Touch. Me.” Bucky pressed the words between clenched teeth, his eyes wide but the grip of Rogers showed all of the restraint of his trembling muscles. 

“Bucky, please,” Steve whispered, relaxing against the wall to show he wasn’t going to try to touch the man again or fight back, “Somethings wrong. Let me take care of you for once.”

The other man blinked and loosened his grip before stepping back, his metal arm whirring again as he grimaced. 

“Please Buck,’ He implored, still not taking any steps forward but he itched to touch him. To make sure he was feeling ok. He had hurt enough for a thousand lifetimes and Steve would be damned if it happened on his watch. It had taken months just to get him to eat normal food, not just meal replacement shakes and vitamins. But touch, touch had been the worst. When they first found him, Bucky had given up. He had been holed up in an abandoned building with one bullet left in his pistol. Steve tried to push down the food that he had just eaten from coming up again as he thought about how he had had to wrestle the man to the ground, how he screamed like a caged animal, how he begged Steve just to end it. He hadn't let anyone get near him, he eyed them all like they would snap his neck at any given moment. Or worse. And after reading his file, Steve could barely go near him. The guilt, about what had happened to him, after all this time. It was too much. But Bucky recognized him and wouldn't let anyone else near him. It was hard when Bruce couldn’t get vitals and Steve was barely equipped besides field dressing to monitor the brain washed assassin. They had worked so hard to even get to this point. It took months of careful commitment and patience for the effects of Hydra’s conditioning to start to wear off. The nightmares had just now started to dissipate, and Steve told no one how the answer had been in human contact. Bucky would crawl into his bed every night like clock work; he never started there but always end up there. He couldn’t touch without sending the other man into a panic, so Steve slept carefully only a few inches away, their skin hovering in an odd limbo of touch and separation while they slept. Steve woke up goosebumps. He never told anybody and Bucky never said a thing in the morning.

“Tell me whats wrong Buck,” he put his hands to his sides and spread his palms 

to show he was not going to touch him again. He felt the tremors while Bucky held him in place, he could smell the sweat on the other man and wouldn’t do it to him again. “Please.”

Bucky ducked his head, cradling his metal arm in his flesh one. 

“My arm. Somethings wrong with it. Its malfunctioning,’ he stopped, rolling his shoulder. “And the strain on my back is-wrong. The arm has caused me pain before, but never like this. Never with-‘ He paused. 

“With Hydra,” Steve finished, letting his head drop back against the wall he was just previously held captive against only moments ago. He didn't need to see Bucky’s nod of agreement to know it was true. Tony had brought this up from the moment they brought Bucky to the Tower; Hydra had maintained his best friend as a machine. As much as they tried to introduce Bucky back to his humanity it was become more and more clear they had more work to do. Steve shuddered to think of the maintenance Bucky had received at the hands of Hydra. He read the reports. He saw the photographs. Steve still losses sleep over it. 

“Jarvis,” Steve called to the AI, his mind made up. “Can you ask Tony and Bruce that we need to meet them in the lab. As soon as possible.” Bucky whipped his head up, looked as if he was going to say something but instead nodded at Steve’s look he was sent. Everyone knew when Steve got that look-his mind was made up. 

 _“Sir has asked me to relay that they are already in the laboratory. And you and Sergeant Barnes are welcome to come.”_ Jarvis quipped back. Tony knew if Steve needed the lab it was for Bucky.

Holding his hand out to the elevator and allowed Bucky to pass, Steve made sure he was far enough away from the other man. He shouldn't have grabbed him. What the hell had he been thinking?

Jarvis closed the doors and they began their ascent. 

“I’m sorry Buck,’ Steve apologized, finally casting his gaze from the blank wall to his friend, “I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. It won’t happen again.”

Bucky relaxed against the wall, bringing his hand to pinch the space between his eyes in aggravation. 

“I know Steve, I’m not mad at you,’ Barnes let his head fall back against the wall, feeling the vibrations of the movement of the elevator. “I just worked hard to get here. And its just-its always something.”

“We’ll fix this,” Steve stated. It was not a question or a statement open for discussion, but a promise. Bucky smiled sadly, straining to righten himself as the elevator slowed to a halt.

“You can’t fix everything pal.”

 

_______________________________________________________________________

 

“James, Steve,” Bruce welcomes them, his cup of tea still steaming in his hand as he walked towards them, “I’m assuming not everything is fine since you came to us.”

Steve looked at Bucky who glowered back but spoke up, “My arm is giving me problems. My back. Its-distracting.” Bruce raised an eyebrow at that; Barnes was not one to complain about anything-him admitting something was “distracting” him was akin to having a broken bone to some. 

“Tony’s setting up, Jarvis gave us a bit of a heads up.”

Steve watched as Bucky nodded, set his jaw and walked down open row of half built machines and discarded coffee cups that looked as if they were growing a science experiment of their own. He knew how much Bucky hated the lab; it began the worst PTSD episode when he first came to the Tower. Set up against the plush chair in Tony’s lab, even with the soft lights Tony had commissioned was enough to send the super soldier into a panic fury and it took one of a perfectly timed Widow’s Bite to knock him down before he strangled Tony with his own power cord. Since then, they had used the room as scarcely as possible. But there was no around this. 

“Hey, my favorite geriatric super soldiers!” Welcomed Tony, his speech slightly obstructed by the small tool he held clenched between his teeth, “I was beginning to think you didn't like me, you never call, you never write.”

“Tony-‘ Warned Steve before being waved off my the billionaire with a scoff. 

“Yea yea, down to business. Something wrong with your boys arm?” 

Steve reddened unconsciously at the title but didn't get a chance to say anything as Bucky stepped forward, “The cybernetic arm is malfunctioning. It requires maintenance, its restricting movement.”

No one said a word, they all stood there frozen. Bucky looked a bit confused, “Did I do something wrong?” 

Tony was the first to snap out of it, “No, of course not Barnes. Uh, so havvvvvee a seat.”

He threw a look at Steve who stood their sadly as his friend settled stiffly into the chair; he spoke to Tony like he had the tech’s on the tapes he made himself watch. Cold, detached and speaking about his body like it wasn’t his. 

But he let it go when he saw how stiff he was sitting the chair, how his eyes had lost focus and where staring at the ceiling at nothing in particular. Steve took a seat next to the chair, and carefully touched Bucky’s flesh and blood arm. 

“Its ok,” he whispered.

“Yea, yea I know.” Bucky whispered back, only relaxing slightly, his eyes not moving. 

Steve left his hand there and Bucky made no move to move him. 

Bruce had joined Tony, his glasses perched on his nose as he leaned over the other scientist while the other man fiddled with one of the faceplates on the Sergeants arm. 

Bucky winced, gripping the armrest as the plate was peeled back; he had admitted once to Steve that though the arm lacked the proper receptors for pain, he could still feel pressure and if there was enough it pulled on the part of his shoulder that the arm was attached to. 

Steve found himself rubbing the other man’s arm with his thumb, slowly and without really meaning to. But he didn’t stop once he caught himself. Bucky winced again, but then seemed as if he caught him and steeled his jaw once again to stare at the ceiling as the two scientists worked. 

“Ah ha!,’ Both men jumped in surprise at Stark’s loud exclamation, Bruce pressing his glasses back up to his nose from where they had slid. “How did we miss this before?” Stark was directing the question to Bruce, who had set down his mug and stared right along with Tony. 

“Because they didn’t look like that before.”

Steve stood, not really looking into the arm because it still messed him up looking at that thing attached to Bucky’s body. “What is it?”

Tony grabbed Steve and forced him around to stare into the mess that was James Barnes’ arm. He took the small tool from his mouth-a screw driver- and pointed at two small vials each placed next to each other. 

“These were filled with a substance neither of us could identify last time, and since getting your boy in the chair was a pain in the ass as it was, the best I could do was have Jarvis scan the arm for the components I couldn’t reach. They didn’t make him go boom or kill him so I left it alone,’ he paused, pointing to the next empty cylinder, ‘but Im beginning to think that these draining into his blood stream here, kind of a like an IV drip.”

“An IV drip full of what?” 

“Thats the question of the hour,” Banner quipped in, looking at the readings on the tablet as Jarvis continued scanning the seated man. 

“Canada.” Came a soft voice from the chair.  They all turned. 

“Come again?” Tony asked, crossing his arms in confusion. 

Bucky closed his eyes, shifting uncomfortably. “They had me in Canada once for special upgrades. I had a longer mission and I had to be recalibrated. I don't remember much but I remember Canada and something to do with the part of the arm you're poking around in now.”

Everyone was silent until Tony threw the screw driver on the table with a clank, startling everyone, “I don't know about you boys but I could definitely go for some fresh maple syrup right about now.”

Bucky looked up at Steve expectantly. 

 

“Have Jarvis start the sweeps. Find me that base.”

 

______________________________________________________________

 

Though he didn’t complain, the arm was getting worse. Steve tried hard to keep himself from touching the man as he squirmed at night trying to get comfortable. The pained whines struck him but he stayed still and vigil.  There was little sign until later in that week. Jarvis had found the location of the Hydra base in the Canadian wilderness they had been looking into for; Bucky could only remember the general location and without a more clear idea of what they were walking into Steve held off until they had more concrete coordinates. 

“Steve I’m going,” Bucky argued, zipping up his vest and kevlar. “Its my arm, my body. I’m going.”

Rogers couldn't argue with that, and besides physically restraining the ex Russian assassin there was really nothing he could do to prevent him from going. 

He saw Bruce give him something in a small glass, which Bucky threw back gratefully, though the grimaced that marked his face showed it didn't taste as great as the pain relief he was sure it provided.

It could've been a shit show had the ex Russian assassin not been there; snipers hidden in the trees alerted them to the base commander before they got close enough. Hawkeye and the Soldier picked them off one by one. It was awe inspiring-if not a bit terrifying to see Bucky in action since the bridge. Even though Steve had fought besides Bucky for years, in both school yard and actual war zone but never like this. The Winter Soldier had taken over- his face was a mask of grim determination, picking off the Hydra agents efficiently and quietly. He still put the face paint on, when Steve asked why he had shrugged, said that it helped him differentiate from Bucky and the Soldier. Steve had left it at that. 

It wasn’t until Iron Man had blasted down the door of the small bunker; Steve went first with Barnes flanking him. Tony swept the area ahead and gave a shout of warning as his repulsers blasted at something in the room ahead. As they approached they found Stark with a man pinned to the connecting wall, his metal gauntlet around his throat and the Hydra agents gun crushed at the mans dangling feet. With a whine of metal components, Iron Man’s face mask lifted and turned his head slightly to face Bucky and Steve. Cap looked at Bucky’s ashen face and apparently Tony noticed it as well as he ever so slightly tightened the grip on the mans beefy neck. 

“Friend of yours?” The billionaire asked sarcastically,  Tony’s eyes finding Steve’s as he kept the man pinned.

“Something like that,” Rogers heard Bucky whisper, his voice tight and he didn’t miss the way his hand had tightened around his M4A1. 

“So, the prodigal son has returned has he?” Came a wheezing, Russian voice that belonged to the apprehended man. “How are you feeling Soldat?”

Bucky blanched but Steve took a step forward, his shield momentarily dropping to his side. “What do you mean by that?” 

The man in question rolled his eyes and barked out what could have been a chuckle had Tony not had such a tight hold on his throat. 

“You haven't noticed? The asset has been out of touch with technicians for how long now?’ the man asked, his face reddening. “A few months if my dates are correct.’ he motioned to Barnes with a jerk of his head and with a look that one would get if talking about a diseased animal, “this man before you is no more zhan an robot. A living, breathing machine with only one design.”

The Winter Soldier was still behind him as Steve barely glanced back. 

“How is zhe pain, eh? The arm is getting more and more painful is it not?” By the look of the mans uniform he was high ranking in Hydra. “You have started to run out of the formula Hydra so painstakingly crafting for you, to allow your body to handle such adjustments that were made. Your gift is that magnificent arm, but I am surprised you are even holding your weapon.”

“I’d say we look at non consensual body modification as something other than a gift in the civilized world, wouldn’t you agree Cap?” Hawkeye had taken to rafters of the building, making his presence known by the small red dot that now had found its home on the Hydra commanders forehead. 

“Can’t agree more,” Rogers hefted his shield, tapping the earpiece to connect him with Widow. “We got him. You know what to do.”

Steve nodded to Tony and started to turn when the Commander huffed, “Enjoy your friend while you can Captain. His body will break down. He was not meant for life outside of Hydra. We made sure of zhat!” 

Steve stalked out of the room, Bucky in tow. Widow started to walk by when Steve stopped her, his hand resting lightly on her arm but not looking at her. “See what else you can get out of him. Get any data you can salvage.” She nodded her assent, and though she said nothing Steve could see her mapping their body language and the pallor of Barnes’s face. “Hawkeye,” Called Steve, “Fire up the Quin Jet. We’re going home.” They walked off, the sound of the turbo jet starting up covered the sound of screaming coming from the bunker. 

 


End file.
